HIS PLAN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BETTER
Hi, I’m Chauntelle, let me be the first to tell you, I am a recovering control freak. I truly thought I was the only one capable of holding everything in my life together, and God just gave me the strength to do it. Truthfully, my desire to control everything was my greatest weakness, and it held me back the most from being obedient in what God was calling me to do…Women’s Ministry.
I can’t help but think back to that season where God was calling me away from the very career I had worked so hard to build.
Being a hairstylist was my dream. I had spent years pouring everything I had into building the perfect clientele, the perfect schedule, and the career I had always wanted. Along with that, I was also, not so elegantly, navigating two autoimmune diseases (and I’m still steadily rebuking them in Jesus’ name—hallelujah!), raising two children, loving my husband well, serving in my church, serving my community, and wearing what felt like a hundred different hats.
From the outside, it looked like I had finally arrived. The family I had prayed for. The career I had dreamed of. A church I loved. A full and meaningful life.
But in the middle of all of it, God kept whispering over and over to my heart.
“It’s time to step away.”
One thing I've learned about God is that when He calls you, that calling doesn’t disappear just because you don’t want to answer it. For me, the loudest call came on December 30, 2022. But this testimony actually started three days prior on December 27, when I prayed the boldest prayer I've ever prayed.
“Lord, I’m stubborn and I really love what I do but if what I'm doing is in your way, please show me in a big way so that I can't miss it. I promise I will stop and do whatever it is you want me to do.”
Three days later…He answered.
Around 10:30 that night, I woke up and knew something was terribly wrong with my heart. I woke my husband up and we rushed to the emergency room where they told me I was in aFib. I had never had heart problems before. Over the course of several hours, multiple failed medication attempts, one x-ray, and multiple CT scans my heart was still racing and out of rhythm. Every failed attempt only increased the conversations about flying me to a larger hospital for potential surgery.
It was about 2:30 in the morning when I was on my way to my last CT scan before transfer when the Lord said, “Pray Psalm 23”.
When I got back to my room, I was still in aFib and had just been told there was no more medications left to try. I looked at my husband and son and told them the Lord said, “Pray Psalm 23”. I turned on worship music, and we began to pray. And friend, don't you know that before we even finished praying, I felt my heart fall back into perfect rhythm. The doctor didn’t believe me when I told her what had happened and she insisted on one more EKG. Can you guess what the EKG read? NORMAL!!!
They decided to keep me for observation and wheeled me to a room. I was exhausted from everything that had gone on that night and just before I fell asleep I suddenly remembered the prayer I had prayed three days earlier. God had answered exactly the way I had asked Him to– in a way I couldn’t ignore. Through tears and exhaustion I whispered, “Use me.”
Remember when I said that I am a recovering control freak? Well, I have learned that my “control” was really just fear. Fear of losing extra income, fear of not being enough, fear of what others might think, fear of surrendering control over everything I held with so much pride. My fears were really just dressed up excuses. I wasn’t afraid of ministry. I was afraid of letting go. But the very thing I was clinging to was the thing keeping me from experiencing everything God had prepared for me.
As I think back on that season, I can’t help but think about Joshua.
Can you imagine what he must have been feeling?
Moses—the man who had led Israel for decades, the man Joshua had faithfully served under—was gone. Now, God was asking Joshua to lead an entire nation into the Promised Land. If anyone had a reason to feel inadequate, it was Joshua.
Yet, when I read Joshua chapter one, what stands out the most to me is that God didn’t begin by telling Joshua to be courageous He began by reminding Joshua that He would be with him always.
“Just as I was with Moses, I will be with you; I will not leave you or abandon you.” (Joshua 1:5)
Only after that promise did God say,“Haven’t I commanded you: Be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
God didn’t ask Joshua to find courage within himself. He was asking Joshua to place his confidence in the One who was walking beside him.
And isn’t that exactly what surrender is?
Surrender isn’t pretending we’re fearless.
It’s choosing obedience even while we’re afraid because we’ve learned that God’s presence is greater than our fears.
Looking back, I realize my story was never about leaving a career.
It was about learning to trust the God who was calling me.
Joshua didn’t have to know every battle he would face before crossing the Jordan. He simply had to trust the God who had already gone before him.
Neither did I.
And neither do you.
Friend, maybe your Jordan doesn’t look like mine. Maybe God isn’t asking you to leave a career. Maybe He’s asking you to forgive someone, to step into ministry, to have a hard conversation, to start the Bible study, to stay when you want to run, or to go when staying feels more comfortable.
Whatever He’s calling you to, remember this: God has never called anyone to walk into His will alone.
The same God who met Joshua on the edge of the Promised Land is the same God who meets us today.
So, if He’s asking you to take the next step, don’t wait until you feel brave.
Take the step because He promised to go with you.
Sometimes the greatest act of courage isn’t having all the answers.
Sometimes it’s simply saying, “Use me, Lord.”
It’s funny how God works.
Once He had my complete surrender, He slowly began opening doors I never expected.
He allowed me to step back behind the chair—but this time everything was different. Nothing about my career has changed, but everything about my heart has.
My career is no longer my identity.
It has become one of my mission fields.
Today I still have the privilege of doing hair, but I also have the privilege of writing, speaking, discipling women, serving in ministry, and sharing the hope of Jesus wherever He opens a door.
None of those opportunities were on my carefully crafted five-year plan.
They were on His.
And if I’m honest…
His plan has always been better.
I thought surrender would cost me everything. Instead, I discovered it was the doorway to everything God had prepared for me. And today, by His grace, I’m no longer recovering—I am walking boldly and courageously in His presence and His calling.
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