THE HIDDEN SEASON

Hi! I’m Tosha.

First and foremost, I want you to understand something about anything I share. Most of what I share comes from a place of seeking the Lord and listening to the Holy Spirit. I don’t say that to boast or to make myself look spiritual. I say it because I want you to know that the same Holy Spirit who speaks, convicts, and leads me is available to you too.

God wants a relationship with every one of us.

And if there is one thing I have learned, it is this: when God calls you to something, He will walk with you through it.

For so long, I allowed fear, shame, and the opinions of others to have a louder voice than God. I worried about what people would think. I questioned if I was worthy. I wondered if my past disqualified me.

But Jesus showed me something that changed everything.

My past may be a part of my story, but it does not get to write the ending.

I could be labeled by the world because of some of the worst moments of my life.

A liar.

A thief.

An adulterer

A gossiper.

A hypocrite.

A judgmental person.

Someone who made mistakes that hurt others.

Someone who ran from God instead of fully surrendering to Him.

And I’m not proud of those things.

But what should amaze us is this…

There is a God in Heaven who knows every single thing about us and still calls us loved, chosen, forgiven, and redeemed.

A few years ago, I walked through a very dark season in my life. Through repentance, forgiveness, and seeking God, He began showing me that I had been carrying shame that He had already forgiven.

I had asked God for forgiveness. I had received forgiveness from others, but I had to learn to forgive myself and walk out of the shame that was keeping me from fully stepping into what God had for me.

Because shame says, “Hide from God.”

But Jesus says, “Come closer.”

And when I came closer, He started showing me areas of my heart that needed surrender.

He showed me that I had a control problem. (Just ask my family! lol)

I wanted to fix things. I wanted to understand everything. I wanted to make sure everything and everyone around me was okay.

But God reminded me that I am not the Savior.

Jesus already is.

I can love people.

I can pray for people.

I can stand in the gap for people.

But I cannot take the place of God in their lives.

In December, while serving, leading, going to school, and trying to pour into everyone around me, I reached a point where I was exhausted.

On the outside, everything probably looked fine, but inside I was struggling.

I remember sitting in my car with worship music turned all the way up, crying out to God and saying, “Lord, show me what You are trying to show me because I am tired. I feel weak. I cannot keep doing this.”

And the only word I heard was:

Hidden.

At first, I didn’t understand.

I questioned what it meant. Was something hidden in my family? Was something hidden in my ministry? Was something hidden in me?

Little by little, God revealed the answer.

He was keeping me hidden in His presence.

He was calling me into a season of removing distractions, seeking Him deeper, and allowing Him to work on my heart.

And in that hidden season, He showed me things I had missed.

I had been so busy doing things for God that I had forgotten to simply be with God.

I was focused on everyone else’s walk while neglecting my own.

I was comparing myself to what God was doing in other people’s lives instead of being obedient to what He was asking of me.

He reminded me that my first ministry is my home.

God first.

My husband.

My children.

Then, everything else.

That season was not easy.

There were tears.

There were hard conversations.

There were moments where I felt completely overwhelmed.

There were times I told my husband, “I cannot hold my own heart right now. I need God to hold it for me.”

And that is where surrender happened.

Not just surrendering my circumstances.

Surrendering myself.

God did not call me into a hidden season to fix everyone else.

He called me there to restore me.

And when I finally let go of control and trusted Him, I began watching Him move in ways I never could have made happen.

I watched years of prayers begin to unfold.

I watched my family begin to surrender to God.

I watched my husband pursue freedom and surrender things that had held him captive for years.

I watched my children grow closer to Jesus.

Their stories are theirs to tell, but I can testify to this:

God is faithful.

My family is not perfect. Our story is not finished. There are still things we are walking through.

But we serve a God who restores.

A God who redeems.

A God who does not waste one tear, one prayer, or one surrendered moment.

I then felt baptism so heavy on my heart and it became so important to me.

This was not about a performance.

This was not about attention.

This was about obedience.

For a long time, I felt God calling me to be baptized, but I ignored it because I had been baptized when I was younger and thought there was no reason to do it again.

But God was showing me that this was not about what I had done before.

This was about what He was asking me to do now.

It was a step of surrender.

A declaration that I am leaving my old self behind and choosing to walk fully in obedience with Him.

So today, my testimony is simple:

Jesus is still pursuing people.

He is still redeeming stories.

He is still restoring families.

He is still calling His children out of shame and into freedom.

If God is calling you into a season that feels uncomfortable, confusing, or even scary, obey Him.

You do not have to see the whole path.

You just have to take the next step with Him.

Because if He called you to it, He will carry you through it.

The hidden season was not the end.

It was where God began something new.

And I will spend the rest of my life grateful that He never gave up on me.

FRANKIE AND TOSHA TURNER WITH NAYLEN, MCKALIAN, AND CALEB