WHEN THE OUTCOME LOOKS DIFFERENT

Has God ever asked you to be both courageous and joyful? I’m not talking about on a mountain top where the sun is shining and all is well. I’m talking about the deepest valley in immense heartbreak?

Today I'd like to share with you a moment where He asked me to be very courageous and count it pure joy when my son would be leaving me here on earth and joining Him in heaven.

Twenty-one years ago, I was begging God to heal my baby boy.

Night after night, I knelt at the altar in the chapel of Arkansas Children’s Hospital, pleading with God to give my sweet boy his own breath, to let me hear him cry, to let me be his mama forever. My little boy needed healing, and I knew it could only come from God.

After nearly two months of watching him fight for every breath, I began to realize that his healing might not come here on earth. It might come in Heaven.

My prayers suddenly changed from, “Lord, please heal my baby”, to, “Lord, I’m selfish. I want to hold him forever. So, I’m going to need You to tell me when it’s time for me to let him go.”

I’ll never forget that moment.

I was looking into my sweet boy’s eyes when I heard the Lord say, “It’s time.” It was as if Heaven was looking back at me. Peace flooded every part of my broken heart. Four days later, I placed my sweet Trevin Shay into the hands of Jesus.

If I’m being completely honest, I don’t know that my faith would be what it is today if Trevin had been healed on this side of Heaven.

I was already a believer. 

I already knew God was good. 

I already believed He was the Great Physician.

But faith isn’t only built by witnessing miracles. Sometimes it’s forged by trusting God when the miracle doesn’t look the way we prayed it would.

Looking back, I can see miracles that I never would have recognized in that moment.

Trevin’s dad, who had been an atheist his entire life, gave his life to Christ.

His primary nurse practitioner, who was also an unbeliever, was the only one left in the room after we had all stepped out. After they carried Trevin’s body away, she heard babies laughing in the room. That moment changed her life, and she became a believer too.

And he taught me how to love others more than myself.

The days, weeks, and months after losing Trevin were unimaginably hard. And if you would have told me then that I’d  be sharing with others today to count it pure joy when you go through various trials because testing of their faith produces endurance, I would have said "you’re crazy!"

But I can look back now and say that I am overwhelmed with gratitude for a Father who never left my side. He carried me through the darkest valley and taught me more about His faithfulness than I ever could have learned on the mountaintop.

I’ve got to witness many miracles over the years, but some of my favorites aren’t the ones where circumstances changed.

They’re the ones where people walked through unimaginable pain, refused to let go of Jesus, and came out on the other side with an unshakable faith.

Sometimes the greatest miracle isn’t the answer to the prayer we’ve been praying.

Sometimes it’s the courage God gives us to keep trusting Him when the outcome looks different than we expected.

Be full of joy and courage, friend. Not because the outcome is guaranteed to be what you want, but because the Lord has already promised to be with you wherever you go. 

His word says that he will never leave us or abandon us. His promise then is still the same promise for us today. 

I have stood in deep valley’s of grief and on mountaintops alike, and I can promise you that I never felt his presence more than I did in the valley. I don’t know what your valley looks like. I don’t what God is calling you to be courageous in, but I do know that surrendering your fears of the unknown is the first step. And if the outcome looks different than you hoped, don’t mistake His silence for His absence. He is still with you. He is still good. And He will give you the strength to be strong and courageous, one step at a time.

CHAUNTELLE MAYBERRY