FAITH OVER FEAR

The other day I was scrolling through my “notes” on my phone. If you’re like me, you might have 500,000 notes because I write to God A LOT.  As I was scrolling, I came across one that was titled “God”, so out of curiosity I clicked it. The moment it opened I began to read, “Lord, use my faith to be a path and a gateway to showing others what infinite faith looks like. I’m believing we’re bringing this baby home. Please Lord, make a way! You gave me the vision that I would greet our baby in the hospital room and see my son hand in hand with his sister. Please God, turn it around. Jesus, you are so good, and we will wait patiently. I love you.” After reading those words, I scrolled up to see July 27th, 2023…2 days after the first birth mom delivered her baby and changed her mind.

I was still believing the miracle would come, and I refused to close the door until God gave me peace that this was not our child. Through endless worship, prayer, and trust, I kept asking God for guidance, and my request was that if this mother didn’t plan to change her mind, to please give me clarity, a sign, or something. A couple of days later, He gave me complete peace and made it clear to me that although this chapter was finished, our story wasn’t.

July 2023 was one of the darkest periods of my life. I can truly say I have never felt such pain as a failed adoption, yet in my darkest moments, I continued to cling to God’s goodness. We had been waiting over 4 years, went through an entire pregnancy with birth mom, drove endless hours to appointments, and I could go on and on.  Despite the circumstance, I made a promise that I would never blame nor get mad at Him through the adoption process. Before our journey began, He made it clear that HE and ONLY HE is in control, and if I wasn’t willing to surrender that to Him, then we as a family would never make it through the process. And oh, how He was NOT wrong about that. He made it very clear that HE would have the victory!

God truly has such incredible plans for our lives even when we feel our life is in shambles or living in the fear of the unknown! God is victorious in the Bible over and over again, yet so often we don’t want to trust or relinquish control to Him. Friends, I pray you know that no matter the circumstance, the season you are in, or the difficulties you may be facing, it is when we TRULY surrender to Christ that blessings occur. James 1:12 (NIV) says, “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”

Through the darkness, we never stopped praying or believing. In fact, in our toughest moments of life, we have prayed even more because He is the only one who can get us through. It’s easy to go through life living in fear and wanting control, but living in fear isn’t God’s intention for us. Living by faith changes us, grows us, and reminds us that we are truly nothing without Him.

The enemy tries to deceive, devour, distract, and divide us from Christ. After the failed adoption, the enemy wanted me to believe it was over, that God let me down, and if God is such a loving God, WHY would He do this to me?

However, the devil is just background noise and a liar who has no say over who or what God does. The lies of the enemy can be loud, but God’s goodness is so much greater. Clinging to His truth and His goodness led to us being chosen by another birth mom 3 months later. We had been waiting over 4.5 years for a child, NOT ONCE being chosen, yet twice in the same year, we were! When the second birth mom gave birth she not only changed her mind at the hospital for 24 hours, but changed her mind again after we had Aspen home for 4 days. Our daughter was taken out of my arms and all I could do was fall to the floor.  For 2 more days, I was without our child again, yet not once did God let me go! Not one time did He leave my side. We knew prayer and worship was our way through the trials! Only can God restore us through such darkness and yet, leave us feeling at peace.  FAITH IS THE WAY! God told me one night to get out of the boat and meet Him on the water. I was walking by faith and by trust, not knowing what was to come. The unknown can seem so scary or exhausting, but when we fixate our eyes on Him and Him alone, we know victory is up ahead because He will carry us to the finish line.

No matter your journey or story, God wants you, and He chooses you! If you’re in a season where you have hit rock bottom, I pray you dig deep and surrender all of yourself to Him. You are enough for Him even when you don’t feel enough for you.  God uses the least likely to do the most for Him and His kingdom! Noah was called crazy, Joseph was called a liar, Moses wasn’t taken seriously, David’s life was threatened repeatedly, and despite each of their stories and hardships, they all surrendered and trusted God in their storm.  Because of their faith, God saved them! That is the faithfulness of Christ!

This life will be filled with challenges, hurt, betrayal, and chaos, but it’s about what we do and how we allow our faith to move in the midst of pain. God did not promise an easy life, but He did promise to strengthen us, guide us, and give us a hope and a future.  “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33 NIV)

Put one foot forward and turn to the Father because life is so much greater when we keep God by our side!

Love you big!

Emily

Emily Sexton