RESIST THE DEVIL...NOT THE WILDERNESS

Hey y’all! My name is Mackenzie Rhode! I am 26 years old, I am a wife to my incredible husband Wesley, and momma to my sweet boy Malachi! I was born and raised in East Tennessee & grew up heavily involved in church and in ministry! If the church doors were open, my family was there! (IYKYK!) I am a second-generation Youth Pastor and am passionate about raising up a generation to be on fire for Jesus no matter their age!

God laid a word on my heart for The J19 community today, and before we begin, I want you to know—I learned this by living it. My prayer is that my testimony brings clarity, freedom, and fresh hope through the Holy Spirit!

A little backstory: I attended ministry school in Redding, California, from 2018-2021. My husband Wes and I met there in 2019, right before COVID. We began dating in 2021—the same year I moved back to East Tennessee after three, fiery years of ministry training. I was 22, full of passion, and ready to run into all God had called me to, but I was not expecting the season He was leading me into.

Wes and I started dating in May 2021, got engaged in December 2021, and married in May 2022. Right before we got married, I transitioned from Youth Intern to full time Youth Pastor. Then, that September, we learned I was pregnant with our son, Malachi, who arrived in May 2023. Every change was a blessing, but the whirlwind left me feeling like I had emotional whiplash.

I was living in the middle of everything I had prayed for—marriage, ministry, and motherhood—yet internally, my world felt like it was collapsing. Anxiety (I thought I’d overcome) came back stronger than ever, and the pressure tested every part of me, including my marriage. Honestly, Wes and I barely made it through our first year and a half together. Marriage brought out our best and worst, and the enemy fought hard to divide us, but through counseling, our pastors, and God’s grace, we came out of that battle stronger.

But that wasn’t all…  A few months after Malachi was born, I began showing signs of postpartum depression—another battle I didn’t expect. Counseling and medication became part of my healing journey, but the struggle was real.

So picture this: I’m young, I’m on fire for Jesus, eager to run free into His promises—yet everywhere I turned, I met resistance. “Really, God? This is what You promised?”

These trials didn’t just affect my mental, emotional, and physical health—they began to affect my calling. Working on a church staff doesn’t just look like sitting around and praying all day… There are expectations to meet and tasks to complete, and I often felt like I was failing. I wasn’t even doing what I had envisioned my calling to look like. At 22, I thought I was ready for so much—but instead, I felt overlooked, even by God. I began to ask, “What am I even doing here?”

The thought of quitting ministry crossed my mind more than once. Between personal battles, family struggles, and job pressures, I questioned if I was even called to this. But as I prayed for God to release me, His answer was clear and simple: “Stay.” No explanation, no details — just “stay.”

That word became my anchor. Every hard day, every misunderstanding, every time I wanted to run—the word stayed the same. I didn’t understand it. I felt like I was walking through fog, unable to see what God was doing, but slowly, staying taught me surrender. I obeyed God and those in authority over me, even when I didn’t want to (because of me, not them). I began to trust that God was working in ways I couldn’t yet perceive, and He was.

Looking back, I see it now—I wasn’t ready for what I thought I was ready for. God had to develop something in me that could only happen in the hidden place—in the wilderness. If I had stepped into what I thought I was ready for too soon, it would have crushed me.

Then, this past August, something shifted. My perspective changed. My thoughts, my responses, even my words felt different. Others noticed the growth before I did. And then it clicked: All of that time I was resisting… I was resisting the wilderness season that God intentionally placed me in, and the moment I yielded was the moment that God could do the work that He intended to do in me in this wilderness.

We often see the wilderness as punishment, but it’s actually preparation. It’s where God refines us, confronts what’s really inside us, and teaches us dependence on Him. If we look at the story of the Israelites, God used Moses to lead Israel out of Egypt, but He used the wilderness to get the Egypt out of them. And the same is necessary for us.

There’s always a wilderness before the promise, preparation before the promotion. You can’t step into your promised land without letting God do His work in the quiet places first, or else our old thought patterns and bad habits will keep us from being fully present in the promise.

So, if you feel stuck or overlooked, frustrated because you’re seeing the opposite of what you were promised, I have good news… you’re not off course — you’re in process. Don’t be like the Israelites and spend an extra 40 years in your wilderness. Pray, seek God and ask Him, “What are You teaching me in this season? What are you doing inside of me?”

Write it down, study it, and surrender.

“Being confident of this, that He Who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

Just in case no one has told you lately, I’m proud of you. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you… Don’t quit in the wilderness. Stay the course, do the heart work, and trust that God is preparing you for the promise ahead.

MACKENZIE, WESLEY, + MALACHI